Post Malone Reportedly Launching Cannabis Company Called Shaboink

Dissatisfied with resting on his laurels as one of Middle America’s favorite hip-pop artists, rapper Post Malone is starting a line of marijuana products. TMZ reports that the collection will be named after “a slang term for ‘the act of two people fornicating in a wild spontaneous fashion.’” Don’t rush away to Urban Dictionary on us — that term is “shaboink.”

What will Shaboink bring to your world? TMZ’s sources said it is a “line of flower, pre-roll joints, and vaporizers.” Those attending last weekend’s Hall of Flowers expo in Santa Rosa reportedly got a sneak peek of the goods — including a line of swag like branded grinders, rolling papers, hats, and stickers — but products won’t be hitting dispensary shelves until the Beerbongs & Bentleys rapper’s birthday on July 4th. The cannabis will allegedly by produced by California’s Hemper — which only kind of makes sense, since Hemper mainly distributes paraphernalia.

Will you be smoking the alleged weed of the man music critic Jeff Weiss once called “a Halloween rental, a removable platinum grill, a Cubic Zirconium proposal on the jumbo screen of a last-place team,” who “makes Macklemore look like Mac Dre”? Rest assured, someone’s going to

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