I had a blast hosting Savage Lovecast Live at San Francisco’s Palace of Fine Arts. Audience members submitted questions before the show, and I consumed a large pot edible right after the curtain went up and then raced to give as much decent sex advice as I could before it took effect. Here are some of the questions I didn’t get to before my judgment became too impaired to operate a sex-and-relationship-advice podcast.
I’ve been on the dating apps a while. What’s up with serial first daters?
Back when people primarily met at parties, bars, clubs, etc., we established baseline physical/chemical attraction before learning someone’s name and long before a first date. (We eyeballed ’em, we said hello, we made a moment’s small talk.) With apps, however, we can’t establish baseline physical/chemical attraction until our first face-to-face meeting—until after that “first date,” which itself comes after we’ve swapped flirty messages, sent additional pics, and made a plan to meet. Since apps mean more “first dates,” it feels like we’re meeting a lot more “serial first daters” these days. We aren’t—it’s just that now we have to meet up with people to eyeball ’em, say hello, and make small talk. Don’t think of that first meeting with someone you met via an app as a “first date,” think of it as the preinterview before the first date.
My best friend is in a relationship with a really jealous, controlling guy. He guilt-trips her constantly and gets passive-aggressively mad whenever she tries to hang out with people besides him. When she complains about him, I want to say fuck him, he’s a dick, except… she’s having a full-on affair with another guy and seems not to feel bad about it! I don’t know what advice to give or how